


New beginning

by ophelia_darcy



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-05 15:15:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4184676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ophelia_darcy/pseuds/ophelia_darcy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity runs away from her old life and hides in a small town on South of Spain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> This is my first fan-fic entry in this fandom and I'm still kind of new with this. For a long time now I wanted to write something about my favourite couple on TV. They were also the reason why I started reading fan fiction.  
> I apologize for all grammar and vocabulary mistakes, English is sort of my second language :) I hope you will enjoy reading it.

Deep scent of pine trees and cold stones was floating in the warm summer air above the old city of Antequera. Dark has settled upon the city few hours ago and just like any other small city in the hot Mediterranean it came alive when the heath was eaten by the twilight. Last of night wanderers were slowly disappearing around the corners silently finding their way home. There is something about small old cities that make her heart flutter. It's not just the cosiness or history of the city. It's the feeling of being safe she has never felt in big cities.

Wrapping her hand around her body she lets warm wind to play with her curls. One year ago she packed her bags and left everything she knew and loved behind. Maybe she should have said something to someone, tell them she was leaving, tell them she loved them and that she will come back to them. She was thinking about reaching out to them every single day but she knew once she does reach out she will be persuaded to come back. And the selfish part of her didn't want to go back, it wanted to stay her wrapped in a blanket of comfort and safety.

In order to get away she crumbled her life into a pieces. She left super genius IT girl locked in the storage room on the South Boulevard. Well to be honest she left everything behind, only leaving with some clothes, tablet, phone and some pictures. Everything else was locked in that god forsaken storage room, including her feelings for a man she loved for the last 4 years.

Dealing with her feelings have been hard. People always leave and she is always left with a broken heart. Instead of waiting for him to disappear from her life leaving her with a broken heart she disappeared first. Even when the urge to look him up, to see where he is or what he is doing became too much for her to tame she always found a way to repress it. To keep her mind away from painful memories she focuses her gaze on a couple who is walking down the street. They look so in love, walking hand in hand, whispering words in their ears and soft giggles escaping their mouths.

She sighs and closes her eyes to chase away a wish to take the place of the woman madly in love. She opens her eyes when she hears a soft clatter somewhere behind her. Remembering what Diggle and Sara had thought her of self-defence she prepares her body to confront the intruder. She turns around and there is no one or nothing to see. Maybe it's time she returns to her small apartment. Even though the city is small and she got to know a lot of people she still has some paranoia of big cities left in her. She starts walking slowly down the hill in the feeble light of few street lights.

Tomorrow morning she will take on the invitation from Felipe to teach her something more about a self-defence. She was always telling him to stop worrying about her, that she is a survivor and besides if something will go wrong she has him to lean on. She has no idea what she would do without him. When she first came to city of Malaga she was lost. Not just physically but also mentally. She had no idea what she is doing or where she is. She was tired from traveling around the world erasing traces that she might have left behind. After she got off from the 10th plane that month she had enough so she just left the airport and start wandering across the streets. She ended up in a small bar next to the beach where Felipe noticed her lost look and knew exactly how she felt. He offered her a place to stay and a steady job without asking her who she is or what her plans are. Like she knew she can trust Oliver that evening she knew she can trust Felipe. Next morning they drove all the way to Antequera where he introduced her to his wife Malena.

Malena was a beautiful woman in her forties, with soft raven curls and gentle touch. She invited her into her life and soon the two of them weave a bond that was similar to bonds that are shared between a mother and a daughter. Day by day she learned the magic of Spanish cuisine and moths have passed by. After six moths a place two streets from their home was looking for tenants so she decided to move there.

Felipe was of course against it, saying she is welcome to stay in their home as long as she likes but Melena understood her so she persuaded Felipe to help her convince the owner to lease her the apartment. It was a cute one bedroom apartment with old quirky furniture and a balcony that was overseeing almost the whole town. She fell in love with it the moment she first saw it and there was no way she would give up persuading the owner to lease it to her. Thank god for Felipe and his persuading skills. Because she was a foreigner she needed someone from the town to vouch for her and Felipe was perfect at it. He proclaimed that she might as well be his daughter. Landlord was satisfied with the explanation and the next thing she knew she was moving her stuff from her old room to this new apartment. Felipe was still unsure about her living alone so he made sure to install as many locks as possible on her front doors.

Every morning she still went to their house to have breakfast with them and then they all went to work. They owned a small pasteleria at the corner of the street. Melena was the best cook and pastry chef she has ever encountered and she made a vow to learn as much as she can from her. Slowly people started to trust her and after a year she was officially known as family. When she walked on the streets people stop her and ask her how she is doing, they ask her about Malena and Felipe, they invite her to family dinners and parties and for the first time in her life she feels at home.

Again something rattled in the shadows, waking her up from her thought. Without looking back she started pacing faster. Yes, she is definitely asking Felipe to teach her some new moves. She returned to her home street and she can almost see her building but the noise is getting lauder and it's not dissembling in the shadows. She hears steps behind her and her breathing becomes erratic, opening her purse she is searching for her keys and swearing that tomorrow she will buy a pepper spray. Steps are getting closer and closer and she knows she will never get to the doors in time so she stops and turns around. Like someone punched her in the stomach she is left without a breath and all she can do is gape and bring her keys closer to her chest.

\----

Warm wind is caressing his face and he isn't sure he will ever find her again. After a year of fruitless search for her he almost gave up but then Lyla had found something on Felicities old computers and he decided to look for her one last time. He needed a closure, because the way she left ripped his heart open and there was a void which needed to be filled.

The only way to fill it was to find her and get some answers from her. Diggle was against this from the start, stating that she left with a good reason and if she wanted them to find her she would leave some note but she didn't. Diggle loved Felicity like his sister and when they found out she left he was almost as heartbroken as Oliver but he picked himself up, got strength form his family and occasions when he mentioned Felicity were rare. Lyla however decided to help Oliver and they spent countless hours going through her computers and stuff searching for clues.

They almost gave up until Lyla found an article about idyllic life in south Spain. Article was pinned to her old high school English notebook surrounded by heart and stars. He knew it's a long shot but he needed to try one more time. After he used his 'bro' card on Diggle they set up a plan, marking all the cities he needs to visit. Sometimes it felt like he is searching for a needle in a haystack.

Whoever he asked about her no one has seen her. He was walking through cities completely lost and his time in Spain was coming to an end. At least he tried he told himself and like Diggle has said before if she wanted to be found she would leave a trace. On the last day of his stay in Spain he went on a market in Malaga wanting to buy something for baby Sara and Thea. He encountered a small old lady who was selling olive oil. She was nice and friendly but she didn't know how to speak English.

When he wanted to pay a picture of Felicity fell on the stand. Woman smiled at him and picked up the picture. She started nodding and smiling at him and one word fell of her lips; Marina. His eyes went wide with shock and he looked at the old lady completely baffled. He took a picture from her hand and looked at her again. ''Felicity'' he said to her and she shook her head. ''No, no Marina.'' She had a warm smile on her lips and he couldn't believe his ears. ''Donde?'' Woman smiled and called for some Antonio.

Man came rushing to the stand and saw a picture of Felicity in Oliver’s hand. He smiled and clasped his hands together. Woman told him something in Spanish and Oliver didn't even try to understand the words. ''My Mom tells me you are looking for Marina. Are you her friend?'' Oliver couldn't believe what he was hearing. This man knows Felicity. ''Yes Marina is my friend. I've been looking for her but I couldn't find her.'' Man smiles again. ''That is because she is not staying in Malaga, she is living in Antaquera.''

After a year of hibernation his heart started beating uncontrollably and it sort of felt like it will jump right out of his chest. ''If you need a ride me and my mom are leaving in couple of hours. We are happy to give you lift. Any friend of Marina is a friend of ours.'' After two hours of waiting for market to close down they were on the road. Antonio was talking about how he knows Felicity and all Oliver could do was to listen.

Today he will get his answers and he is nervous like a kid before taking a math test. What if Marina isn't Felicity, what if she doesn't want to talk to him, what if she runs again from him. His heart could not bear losing her again. When they arrived to the small idyllic town with white houses and red bricked roofs they showed him her house. Antonio wished him good luck and they drove off.

Twilight started to move over the city and he noticed that it came to life. He knocked on the doors but no one answered. After waiting for her for couple of hours he decided to take a stroll around the town. He will return when the dark settles and maybe then she will be at home. His whole future was hanging on a thread and he wasn’t sure how today will end but the one thing he was completely sure of was this; if she really is living here he knows the reason she stayed. The town is small and cosy and everyone seem to know everyone. Even he feels safe surrounded by old town buildings and smell of pine trees and salty wind. He hasn’t been here for the whole day and yet he finds himself wanting to settle down here.

After hours of wandering across the town he is climbing to the hill which stretches above the city. Lost in his thoughts he comes almost completely to the top of the hill when he notices a familiar shape standing under a faint street light. His breath is caught in his lungs and his heart skips a beat. Can it really be her? He moves to the shadows not wanting to go near her just yet.

Soft wind is playing with her now dark curls and her pashmina is gently wrapped around her shoulders. He has to repress a sudden urge to stroll right to her and take her into her arms. He slowly moves forward and in all his eagerness he overturns a bin full of trash. Loud voice wakes her up from her thoughts and she turns around. In the last second he moves deeper in the shadows.

She looks even more beautiful than she did. Her face is not tinted with worries. Instead of dark circles under her eyes there are small freckles scattered all over her cheeks. She looks healthier and lighter. She looks so young and carefree and it makes his heart ache for her. She starts moving down the hill and his legs are following after her automatically. He knows he should stay in the shadows, he knows she is doing better without him but having her so close to him after so much time makes him selfish. He needs her. He needs to hold and kiss her one last time.

His heart needs a closure only she can give. From her stiff walk he knows she noticed someone is following her. Instead of calling after her he only speeds his steps. All coherent thoughts have fled his brain and all that is left is the need to have her close.

As an alternative of turning around and going home he is closing the distance between them until she abruptly stops. His whole body tenses because he knows what it's following. She turns around and the first time in a year her blue eyes are staring straight into his eyes.

He sees her shocked gaze and the way her arms closed around her body in a protective way. Her breathing is faster and it almost sounds like she is gulping for air. All words that he had in his mind were gone, all except one. He moves closer to her and just as she closes her eyes letting a tear slip down her cheek he softly says her name.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> Yeah this thing needs a proper closure and ending :)  
> Again I am certain there are mistakes in this text so I apologize. Let me know what you think about it or just say hi to me :D 
> 
> O.

They were two lost souls floating aimlessly across the world until finally they found each other. Looking at those beautiful blue eyes Felicity's heart was awake once again. But with all that love she feels for him along comes the pain. That unbarring pain that made her leave everything behind. A pain so strong it made her completely numb and lost. And now it's back and it's suffocating her, she is drowning in it, gulping for air and holding on the last straws of reason she tries to stay afloat but his sudden movement breaks the dam. Her body starts to shake from tidal wave of emotions that are flooding her system. She is barely breathing and the only thing she notices in this haze of feelings are those infinite blue eyes that are filled with same tidal wave of emotions she is experiencing.

Those eyes are the only thing that keep her sane. They become her lighthouse who are guiding her safe to the shore. ‘How on god’s Earth did he find her?’ Her mind was spinning like hamster wheel trying to find possible trails she has left when she ran away. She was being so careful, masking every flight with another one, changing identities, making her old life disappear from the face of Earth like she never existed.

‘There were no trails you left behind.’ His voice is soft and silent and for the first time she looks at him, really looks at him and she sees a broken man. Seeing her reaction sucked the life right out of him. Suddenly she feels shame over her actions and instead of reassuring him, giving him a soft smile she averts her eyes from him and slowly steps back.

There are stars on the sky and wind is softly playing the melody of the night. Two lovers who were finally catching a glimpse of each other’s heart were crudely interrupted by mellow summer rain. Air was immediately filled with scent of hot stone being cooled by rain.

Something deep in her soul snaps and she lets out a giggle. First lightning illuminates the sky. She ran away from him, she literally circled the globe in order to break free and yet he is standing right in front of her getting soaked and looking lost like a little boy. Mellow rain turns into shower. She stretches her arms and opens her hands catching rain drops on her palms and fingers. Another giggle escapes her and like a little girl she spins around catching raindrops on her fingers letting her dress get wet.

He just looks at her in disbelief. He spent so many days without her smile that at first he thinks he is imagining things. But when he sees her dancing in the rain, giggling like a little girl his heart restarts. It’s like an old rusty engine that needs couple pumps of oil but it’s alive again and he starts laughing with her. He can’t believe he finally found a missing piece of his soul.

Sudden thunder breaks the spell in which two of them were enveloped in. Looking at Oliver, Felicity realizes that apart from few words they haven’t spoken at all and she throbs to hear his voice again. ‘’Hello Oliver!’’ She catches his smile and her whole heart hums in delight. He nods but keeps still at the same spot he has been standing for god knows how many time. ‘’I know you don’t have problem with rain and thunder but I prefer being safe and sound when all hell breaks loose on the sky. So if you don’t mind stepping inside that would be great.’’ She flashes him a bright smile and then turns her back on him in order to unlock the front door of the building.

She hears him stepping inside so she moves further to the stairs. They climb up in complete silence, which is not awkward but it’s also not comfortable. It’s not like it used to be and that little thought hurts her just a little bit. When they finally enter the apartment, storm becomes stronger and thunders become lauder. They are leaving small puddles of water on the floor but at the moment she doesn’t care. ‘’Wait here and I will bring some towels for you. She gives him small smile and then disappears around the corner. His eyes wander over her apartment. It’s different to what he ever imagined it to be. First thing he notices is white brick wall behind the colourful sofa. Dark wooden floors are covered with small quirky carpet that looks decades old. On the walls are pictures of Felicity with people he has never seen. Next to front doors there is a big mirror with iron frame. Everywhere he turns there are objects that seem special to a person living here but not to the person he once knew. This apartment clearly belongs to Marina and not to Felicity. He slowly moves to the book case. There are books about cooking and baking. There are books written in Spanish, English and Italian. There is also one 3more framed picture of her and a man he doesn’t recognize but something strange starts boiling in his bones so he turns it upside down.

On the end of the common area there is small dinner table big enough for four people. Chairs behind it are all different shapes and colours. It sort of looks like she went from house to house asking people if they have redundant chairs she can take. They are joyful and fun, first thing in this house that reminds him of old Felicity. Another splash of bright white light fills the room and Oliver automatically moves closer to the big French balcony doors. He moves floor length white lacy curtain to the side. Another thing that has nothing to do with Felicity. He shakes his head and focuses his gaze on the outside. There is small mayhem rolling through the streets. Rain is washing the roads, wind is bending the trees and thunder is constantly shaking the ground. For a second it seems like he is back in Starling but then the earthy scent of heated stones invades his senses and he is once again taken back to the reality.

‘’It’s beautiful isn’t it? They are almost the same to those in Starling but the smell is completely different.’’ Oliver turns around and smiles at her. ‘’Yeah they are.’’ His soft voice fills the room and Felicity thinks it belongs here, between this old walls. Tremor shakes her body and she averts her eyes. Oliver notices it and his forehead wrinkles with worry. ‘’You should probably change the clothes or you’ll catch a cold.’’ She smiles at him and for the first time in a year he has a chance to observe her. In the ally her hair looked raven black but under the light he can see that her hair is dark brown. He assumes it’s her natural colour. Her cheeks are fuller and covered in tiny adorable freckles that were most definitely caused by sun kisses. She looks healthier and well rested. He almost feels relieved to see her like this, care free. He also feels a little bit jealous because while she’s been getting her sleep he’s been spending his nights awake looking for her. Dark green sundress is still completely wet and it’s clinging to her body like a second skin. He notices her body looks curvier and her tan once white and creamy skin is now covered in light hazel tan. Two firm peaks are poking out of the dress and he has to physically force himself to avert his gaze because his whole body shakes with hunger and desire he has never felt before.

She sees him looking at her, almost studying her body and she should feel uncomfortable but she surprisingly is not. After so much time without him she allows herself to study him as well. His body is still ripped and there is new tattoo on his left forearm. One small broken arrow. Her heart aches because she knows that this time it was his decision to get a tattoo and she wasn’t there to get to know the story behind it. Where once was a short stubble now reigns a full beard, his cropped hair is now apparently long and he wears it in a man bun on the back of his head. He is wearing navy blue linen pants with white linen shirt which sleeves are rolled up at elbows. She stares at his brown leather flip flops. This is not Oliver she once knew, this version of him looks like a hipster musician. She laughs at her remark.

‘’What are you laughing at?’’ She shoots her gaze at Oliver who is looking at her almost smug. He probably caught her staring at him. ‘’ Oh, nothing I was just looking for banjo and for the rest of your band members.’’ He gives her a bemused smile and she starts laughing until her stomach hurts. Soon after she hears him follow her lead. ‘’I’m guessing you are not a fan of this look,’’ he asks her with a gleam in his eyes. ‘’If someone can pull this off,’’ she moves her hands up and down his body, ‘then this someone is one hundred percent you.’’ They start laughing again until cold wind blows right in her apartment and she shivers from the sudden cold change of air. ‘’We probably should change before we catch a cold. Or at least here,’’ she grabs a blanket, ‘’tuck this around your body.’’ She throws it at him and he catches it without a single hitch.

‘’You must be hungry, I will make you a sandwich and something to drink.’’ He just nods in surprise because the woman he once knew couldn’t make a salad without burning her place down. He tucks yellow and red blanket around his waist and follows her to the small kitchen. It’s so small he has to stand outside and watch her through the breakfast nook kitchen window. Even though kitchen looks as small as shoe box with her elegant moves she turns it into the biggest kitchen he has ever seen. Each one of her moves is made with intent. Either she is cutting meat or washing vegetables or squeezing lemons she looks like she was born to be a chef. ‘’Here you go; homemade chorizo with queso nata de Quantabria and tomatoes with basil and olive oil. And for the drink I made you a lemonade with elderflower syrup and a hint of mint.’’ She has a sweet smile painted across her face and again like she bewitched him he can only nod.

‘’Wow this is really tasty, where have you learned to cook like this?’’ The tastes are dancing around his mouth and he can hardly sustain a straight face. He forgot how hungry he’s been and the way this sandwich tastes he wouldn’t have a problem to eat another one. ‘’You really like it? It’s my own recipe for bread and lemonade. It became Felipe’s favourite drink since the first time he tasted it.’’ Small bolt of jealousy spreads all over Oliver’s heart. Of course she moved on. How stupid of him to think she would wait for him. Again his forehead is wrinkled and Felicity crinkles her nose. ‘’Is something wrong?’’ He shots her one of his Ollie’s smile which he hates and from the look on her face she doesn’t like it either. ‘’No, nothing’s wrong. I was just thinking where you have learned to cook like this?’’ She doesn’t buy his sudden change of mood but she answers either way. ‘’Melena thought me. She’s the owner of the small pastry shop where I have been working for the last year.’’ He nods but there is no smile written across his features.

Who is this person standing opposite of him? There are slightest resemblance of the woman he loves but most of her new life has nothing to do with her old. There is no computer or technology in her house. There are no geeky posters on her walls, she apparently learned how to speak Spanish and Italian, she is working as a cook in some restaurant and she is in love with another man.

The air between them shifts and it becomes uncomfortable and weird. He knows she feels it too because she moves out of the kitchen and into the living room. ‘’You are probably very tired and want to take a shower. Come with me I will show you the bathroom and the bed where you will be sleeping tonight.’’ Like he is acting on some higher order he stands up and catches her hand.

He needs to know if her heart changed too. If her lips taste the same as they did. He notices how her eyes have opened up, how her heart has started to beat uncontrollably fast. She tries to break free but his hold becomes tighter. He just needs to know. Slowly he brings his lips to her, his nose nuzzling hers. He breaths in her fresh scent of citrus and mint. It’s been so long since he held her like this. It’s been too long and he wants to mend that mistake. Slowly he closes his lips over hers. He adores her lips with soft gentle kisses. But there is no reaction from Felicity. Her stance is still rigid, her hands are still pushing him away and her eyes are wide open in shock.

Just as he wants to pull away from her something deep within her opens. It’s like he opened small Pandora box where she locked all of her feelings for him. She moves her hands around his neck and slowly closes her eyes. Taking bottom his lip between hers send shivers all over Oliver’s body. That hunger and desire he felt previously grows bigger and stronger and they almost consume him completely. His whole body is on fire and he needs to put it out. Instead of moving away from her he envelopes his hands around her body and pushes her firmer against him. He wants to feel her, taste her. She tightens her grip on the back of his head and silent moan escapes from her mouth. Oliver licks at the seam of her mouth and she gladly lets him inside. He invades her mouths like he wants to possess her, like he want to make sure she belongs only to him and another bolt of desire runs through her veins. Their chaste kiss turned into something hungry and soon enough they are running their hands all over their bodies. He moves his hand to cup her breast and she moves hers to map out his abs.

When he presses his lips on the spot on her neck that makes her moan out loud sudden realization washes over both of them and they move from one another like they got burned. They are both panting and trying to catch their breaths. Felicity’s eyes become an endless ocean of dark blue colour filled with lust and desire. No this is wrong, he came here to get some answers, to get a closure not to start another fruitless affair with her. Like she read his mind she presses two fingers against her lips and moves backwards towards the door. What are they doing, what is she thinking? She has worked so hard to burry those feelings for him.

She shakes her head like she wants to shake all her thought of him and his lips away from her memory. ‘’Uhm- I- I- I promised you a shower. I-uhm of course not with me. I-just follow me please.’’ She shuts her mouths and turns around not waiting for his answer. Once she hears his steps behind her she relaxes a bit. ‘’This is the bathroom, towels are on the sink. Bed has fresh sheets on it and if you need anything else just call, I will be sleeping on the sofa.’’

Before he can say anything she disappears through the doors. He takes his clothes off and steps into the shower. Warm water sooths him a bit but his mind is spinning like circus wheel. He wants to empty his mind and heart but it’s all in vain. He came here to get closure to say goodbye to her not to kiss her. What was he thinking? The way she ran away from him one year ago should give him a clue that she doesn’t want anything to do with him. The way she ran away from him today should give him a clue that her feelings have changed. No matter what reasons he tries to make up for leaving first thing in the morning he knows he will not make one step towards the doors because the way that kiss felt, the way she clung to him felt the same as those kisses they shared one year ago. And that’s why he needs to get some answers from her because knowing this, knowing that she still might feel something for him will never let him move on. And he needs to move on.

In the meantime Felicity in nervously jumping around her apartment. She doesn’t want to think what happened so she busies herself with cleaning the kitchen. Once she hears him turning the water down she panics. Like a crazy person she changes her clothes and turns down the lights. Silently she moves towards the sofa and just when she is about to reach it she hits her foot against the coffee table. ‘’God damn it!’’ She hears him opening the door and just like she is made from rubber she jumps straight on the sofa, turning her head away from the doors almost burying it under mountains of pillows. She doesn’t want to talk to him or see him. Right now she just wants to sleep and pretend this was all a dream. Crazy, stupid dream. His steps are getting closer and closer and she can almost sense him before she can her him opening the doors of the bedroom.

He heard her swear and thinking something is wrong rushed to the living room area. When he found her laying on sofa pretending she is sleeping he stopped between the doors. He doesn’t know how much time he was just standing there looking at her. By the time they finished with kissing the storm has died down. Now moonlight is softly playing with her curls and he would be lying if he said she doesn’t make his heart sing in a way no woman made it sing before. He takes in a deep breath, letting himself look at her for one last time tonight. Just before he turns around he closes his eyes and lets out four words he has been looking forward to hear and dreading them at the same time. ‘’We need to talk.’’ The way her breath hitches lets him know that she heard him. Soft smile appears on his lips and he slowly moves further away from her.


	3. Morning coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! 
> 
> I have been kicking myself really hard for not posting another chapter for more than a month. Sometimes real life prevents things from hapening and there is not much you can do.
> 
> I hope you are all still interested in this fan fic because I am. I have so much fun writing it so there is no way I will stop writing it. I hope you are enjoying Summer as much as I do :) 
> 
> O.

First rays of daylight were starting to chase away the darkness. Storm has long passed but the storm inside her heart was still ravaging. ‘Talking’ silly word isn’t it? Why do you need to talk when you are already talking? She abruptly shuts her eyes and covers her head with a pillow. Why everything has to be so complicated when it comes to her life? She was perfectly content with her Spanish idyllic life until he had turn up and mess with her head. And her heart she silently adds. She hasn’t slept the whole night, shifting from one side to another, his words playing in her head. She always knew that she will never get rid of him from her hear but at least she hoped she wouldn’t be obliged to have him near her and yet never have him at all. ‘’God I know you are not real but please just open a pit beneath me so I can disappear again.’’

 

Angry whisper echoes around the silent room and instantly she slaps her hand over her mouth. He is still asleep and there is no way in hell she will have The Talk with him before her morning coffee. ‘’Ha, the Talk.’’ She muses and lets out a small giggle. Clearly it sounds like a daytime talk show with couple of people discussing trivial things about love or weather or maybe politics or celebrities. She rolls her eyes and slowly slides off the couch. Maybe after everything is done and he leaves she can buy something more comfortable. But why would she need more comfortable sofa when he leaves? ‘’Oh shut up brain, you are not allowed to ask irrelevant questions.’’ 

 

With hush sounds she slowly moves towards the kitchen and puts the briki on the stove. One of many things she came to appreciate here is good Turkish coffee. She still can’t believe she used to drink that horrible overpriced dishwasher water with slight resemblance to coffee. The whole process of making coffee calms her nerves. The way the whole kitchen starts smelling of a rich Arabic coffee aroma. She loves the way it bubbles right to the edge of the briki and slowly falls back down. It’s a whole process that keeps her head in the right place and when she finally sits down on the small balcony with the cup of coffee in her left hand and a cigarette in her right her day finally begins.

 

First lights are turning up, first rooster calls are echoing through the village. From far away she can hear the first car on its way. Life is never easy no matter where you end up but here it’s simpler. She doesn’t feel the pressure of the clock ticking and measuring her time left on this planet. It’s like here she started breathing for the first time. She may miss her old life, miss her friends and her family but she wouldn’t change anything. She is happy here even though sometimes she feels completely selfish. But hey, you have to sacrifice what you love to gain what you need. And she needs this, this haven on Earth. When she hears church bells chiming she finally snaps out of her daydream. 

 

‘’Frack, late again are we?’’ She puts down the cigarette and stands up to run to the kitchen. Maybe there are days when coffee kicks in slower but she would remember hearing the doors opening and Oliver walking across the floor. Yeah no, he has his super ninja skills that no amount of coffee in her body can make her be aware of them. Her heart beat picks up where it stopped last night and all she can manage to do is give him a small nod and some mumble of Spanish and English words even she can’t understand. Like always he appears silently without his shirt on. His stupid shirt is off and his Adonis chest is up in the open and she just wants to slide her fingers across it. Biting her lip she tries to clear her mind but it’s not working. She can see it in his eyes he knows what is going on in her mind and his smile widens up a little. Did he just flex his muscles? For the love of baking how old is he? 

 

* * *

 

The truth is he was awake long before he smelled the enticing aroma of morning coffee. To be completely honest he didn’t close his eyes whole night. He could still taste her lips on his. He could still smell cinnamon on her hair and he could still feel her fingers running over his chest. No matter how much he tried to erase her from his head the memories of her came rushing back stronger and stronger. He knew right after he discovered she ran away from him that he will never feel complete again until he finds her again and gets some closure.

 

Oh, how he hates the word closure. He hates it with blazing power because they never even had the start and all he can think of is get some closure. There was time when he thought that they cannot happen because of the danger he will put her in. At some point when he knew he loves her that he is in love with her, he was convinced she will only distract him from his goal. Because when it would come to choosing between her life and everyone else he would always choose her. So he was compromised and the best thing to do was to push her away. Even when he was taking his last breath, even when he closed his eyes and had her image on his mind he was still convinced he did the right thing. She was safe without him and he liked it that way. It was hard waking up and finding he survived only to set his eyes on Kato and not on his beloved. Strange optimism settled in his bones and he knew when he returns home she will be waiting for him. And she did, she came rushing into his arms and it was like his heart found a new rhythm. It was beating fast and hard. When she told him she doesn’t want to be a woman he loves it shocked him. Because nothing in this world can stop him from loving her and hearing that she doesn’t want to be loved by him shook him to the core. Yet he honoured her wish and loved her from afar. It sucked when he saw arms of another man where his should have been. That night he pulverized the practice dummy. Somehow he could understand why she loves another man and he still decided to love her from afar. Even when he almost became Ra’s al Ghul he still loved her from afar, when he got married to another he loved her even more. 

 

Finally after so many ordeals he came to the conclusion that loving her from afar is no longer possible. He would lie if he says he didn’t love Laurel in the same way but their love was different. The love he feels for Felicity is more mature because finally he can cherish what he has, the small stolen moments with her are the best moments in his life. After so many years of sorrow and anger he was finally hoping for a little bit of happiness in his life. So when he pulled his new car into her driveway and almost jumped out of the car he was determined he will make this feeling last. Imagine his surprise when he knocked on the door and no one was answering. Imagine how he felt when he entered and discovered empty apartment. No furniture, no books, no paintings, no signs of life and no Felicity.

 

He went into the Arrow mode almost waking up the whole neighbourhood. He drove to Diggle, banged on his doors and almost beat the crap out of him. It took half an hour for Diggle to completely calm down Oliver. They weren’t on the best terms but seeing Oliver collapsing in front of him was all initiative he needed to start slowly forgiving him. There was still tension between them but their common goal brought them closer together. Lyla was actually the one who was pushing them to reconcile. She was also the one who brought the team together in hope to find Felicity. At the beginning they were all hoping someone was keeping her away from them but after months have passed without anyone demanding ransom it was obvious she has chosen to disappear. Knowledge that she ran away from him destroyed him. He could survive anything, he could even come back from the dead but knowing she rather ran away from him than to stay with him broke his heart into million pieces. For days he was wandering from bar to bar, drinking and getting high. Many years have passed since Ollie was present now he was here to stay, so he searched for comfort in strip clubs, bars and in the arms of women of which names he never remembered. It was something he was good at, beside killing people and fucking everything up. He was on a path of self-destruction until Diggle had had enough. They had an epic fight, old resentment coming to life but the aftermath was getting old Oliver back. He got his life in order, he started training again, doing patrols and opening Verdant with the help of his baby sister. Breathing got easier and his heart was almost glued back together.

 

There was only one thing missing, her. The love of his life was still missing. Yes, she may be the love of his life, but that doesn’t mean she will be the only love of his life. Five months ago he didn’t know that but now after finally getting a solid trace where she could be he is completely sure he is ready to move on. She will always hold a special place in his heart, maybe the memory of her is a little bit tainted by actions from both of them but he cannot deny she was the first person he completely opened his heart for. He hears silent whispers and immediately he knows she is awake. Remembering the way her body tensed when he told her they need to talk, he slowly moves toward the door. There is no way in hell he is risking her running away from him again.

 

Smell of coffee is getting stronger so that means she has moved from the kitchen. Very slowly he opens the door. Just like Slade thought him to move, he moves with precision of a killer. He finds her siting on the small balcony with coffee and a cigarette in her hands. Some things never change and yet a lot of them do. She looks so peaceful just sitting there staring blankly at the sky. He would love waking up like this for the rest of his life, but he knows that it’s just a dream that will never come true. He takes her in like it is the last time he will ever see her. Truthfully maybe after they have their talk it really will be the last time he will be able to just look at her. He is not sure what is left for them after their talk and honestly he doesn’t want to think about it. He just wants to stand here and watch her. He wants to mesmerize her, drink her in. After so long he wants to be near her and bathe in her addicting light. 

 

* * *

 

Church bells chiming bring him back from his thoughts and as it seem he is not the only one who was brought back. Her eyes have settled on him. Oh right, he forgot to put on his shirt. Maybe he can have a little fun. He still remembers how his bare chest affects her so he flexes his muscles. Just like he thought she still gets affected by his muscles. He smirks and hums a little, content to steal some of her speech. 

 

Then she bites her lips and flushes. Soft pink blush travels from her cheeks, along her neck and disappears somewhere deep into her cleavage. Fuck, she still has the same effect on him. He wants nothing more than to stride to her and take her into his arms and find out himself where that blush ends. He also knows this is not the right way so he steps back a little and allows her to move past him.

 

‘’I know you like walking around, showing your chiselled chest but some of us like it when men are completely dressed. It’s easier to focus without thinking about your chest. No, no that was not what I meant to say. I meant to say you will catch a cold or pneumonia if you don’t get dressed.’’ He can hear something falling on the floor and breaking and he is sure it’s the cup’s life that ended in that particular moment. He likes when she babbles and he loves it even more when she babbles about him. ‘’It’s like hundred degrees outside. I was sweating even before I got out of the bed so trust me I will not catch a pneumonia.’’ ‘’Well now that we established you won’t get a pneumonia can you still put some shirt on?’’

 

He giggles and pulls a shirt over his head. He hadn’t giggled in a year and it takes him by a surprise. ‘’Is that a giggle I hear?’’ She sticks her head out of the kitchen and he cannot help but think how adorable she looks. ‘’Yeah, do you also have a problem with me giggling? Will I catch a cold if I do it too often?’’ She snorts and starts laughing. ‘’You will never let it pass by. Okay your chest still distracts me. And I dare you to find one woman who doesn’t feel the same way about your chest.’’ Now it’s his turn to start laughing. God he missed laughing with her. He missed her, period. ‘’I am glad we got that out of the way, now would you like some coffee? I don’t have anything for breakfast but I thought maybe you will come with me to where I work. We have awesome breakfast and pastry.’’ Maybe they can push their talk aside for just a little. Small smile creeps on his face and Felicity notices right away. ‘’Is that a yes?’’ He looks at her and how can he say anything else than a yes to this woman? ‘’Yes, I would pretty much like that.’’ 

 

She clasps he hands together and moves further in the kitchen. Not a minute has passed when she returns with a fresh cup of coffee. ‘’This is probably not what you are used to so I put it into smaller cup than mine. It’s pretty strong but it is really good.’’ So this is what smells so divine? He takes the cup with both of his hands. Maybe if they don’t talk right away is for the best. ‘’Thank you, I heard something about a homemade breakfast?’’ She smiles and dances away from him towards the bedroom. ‘’Let me change first, I will be really fast because I am already late for work and then we can go. Feel free to refill the cup if you want, just remember it’s really strong, even for the big guy like you.’’ She winks at him and disappears behind the doors. 

 

He drinks his first cup of what it looks like Arabic coffee and moves to the kitchen to wash it up. On the refrigerator he notices some postcards from some guy called Dick. Right there at this moment he decides he doesn’t like the guy. Who calls himself Dick? Why would you want to name your child Dick? Just before he has a chance to read it completely he hears Felicity opening bedroom doors. Quickly he puts the cup into the sink and moves to the living area. She looks pretty in mint green sundress with yellow headband taming her locks. Even though she changed her looks she still looks beautiful to him. She will always look beautiful to him no matter what she looks like. ‘’Ready,’’ she asks him while she is putting small silver earing on her ears. ‘’Of course I am. Lead the way.’’

* * *

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I will manage to post longer chapter this week, so I redeem myself a little :) 
> 
> Take care and leave comments or kudos :) 
> 
> Love, 
> 
> O.


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